No Words
by Capstar98
Summary: Peter is so excited at the idea of being a parent. Tony knows this, and supports it, and yet still he worries. And so, when the worst happens, he's there, although he knows this is one problem he can't fix. He just wishes that Peter never had to experience this particular kind of pain. [Part 2 of 'Fast Forward']


A/N: Hey, everybody. This one is pretty sad, and there's really no happy to be seen. If you're triggered by sensitive topics concerning pregnancy, check the end notes for warnings.

* * *

"Hey, Peter! What's up, kid?" Tony greeted, seeing Peter's face pop up on his phone.

Peter smiled and waved, his picture only wavering for a moment as the phone found connection. "Hey! How's the lake? Still got water in it?"

"Last I checked, yes," Tony said, chuckling. He was in the kitchen, getting ready to cook dinner, and set the phone down on the counter to gather ingredients. "I saw you on the news fighting someone new - uh, what's his name?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Electro. He's kind of a joker, if you ask me. Packs a mean spark, though. I couldn't actually touch him since every time I did he'd shock me out of my skull."

"You okay?" Tony asked, pausing as he put down the cutting board.

"Yeah, yeah - I'm fine," Peter reassured. "Quit your worrying."

"Worry? I don't worry about you," Tony said innocently.

Peter chuckled. "Keep telling yourself that," he joked.

Tony just huffed a laugh. Yeah, he couldn't really deny it.

"Well," Peter added, "I was just calling to let you know we're going in for the first ultrasound tomorrow," Peter said. He could feel the kid's excitement.

Tony grabbed an onion from the drawer and chopped off the ends, still listening to Peter as he did so. "I know, Pete. You've only told me about a hundred times."

"But now it's happening! Tomorrow we get to see the baby for the first time! It'll have a heartbeat!"

Tony smiled softly at Peter. "I'm so excited," he admitted. "You've gotta send me pictures, okay? And tell MJ hi from me."

"Will do! I'll call you tomorrow and let you know how it went," Peter said.

"Sounds good."

"Okay, bye!"

"Bye, Peter," Tony said, and hung up, shaking his head in amusement. God, he loved that kid. And now, the kid was having a kid. It was still a lot to think about, honestly. But he was so happy that they were happy. That's all that really mattered.

He looked over at his own kid, who was doing homework in the dining room, and thought about their first ultrasound for her. Pepper had been so calm, and he'd been a nervous wreck.

Now, he was the worried one again. Excited, of course, but worried. After all, Peter was so young.

But, after years of experience, he did know that Peter could tackle whatever came at him. That kid was really one of the strongest people he'd ever met.

* * *

By the next day, Tony forgot entirely about their ultrasound, if he was being honest. He was working on building a sled with Morgan, and they'd gotten wrapped up in the details. They only left the garage for lunch and a Pepper-mandated hot chocolate break. Then, of course, they had to test out the sled on the hill behind the house.

By the time they made it back inside, it was late, and Tony's thoughts turned to Peter for the first time that day.

He checked his phone for missed calls or messages, but there were none. Then, he checked the time. It was almost 7:30 - surely they'd gotten home from the doctor's by now. Had Peter forgotten to send pictures?

Tony almost sent off a text asking for an update, but got distracted when Pepper announced it was dinner time.

After all, he was sure it was nothing. He'd call after dinner.

* * *

The call from Peter came later that night, when Tony and Pepper were getting ready for bed. The house was quiet and still when his phone rang and broke up the peace.

Tony picked up and put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Pete! How'd it go today?"

There was silence on the other end, and Tony pulled the phone away to check that they were still connected. They were. "Peter?" he said. "You there?"

"Yeah - yeah, I'm here," Peter said.

And at those words, Tony's heart sunk down to his stomach. Peter should've been just as excited as he'd been yesterday. But instead, he sounded tired and quiet.

"Is - Is everything okay?" Tony asked. Pepper caught his eye questioningly at that, but he looked away, focusing on Peter's voice.

It took another moment for the kid to respond. "Uh… no. It's not - not really, no."

Tony's breath felt caught in his lungs, but he managed to ask, "What happened?"

"It's…" he heard Peter take a shaky breath. "It's the baby. It's not - the doctors say it's not… there, anymore. The pregnancy, it's not viable."

Tony couldn't speak for a moment. Then he said, "Is MJ okay?"

Peter sighed. "Yeah, she's - she's not in danger, or anything. I mean, she's not… okay , but physically …"

"Yeah, I know," Tony said. "That's… that's good, at least."

"Right," Peter said softly.

Tony wiped a hand over his face. "Oh, Pete. I'm so sorry."

"Me too. I - I don't know what to do," he added quickly. "I don't know what happens next."

Tony looked over at Pepper again. He could tell by her horrified expression that she had picked up on what was going on. "What happens next," Tony said, "Is that we're coming to see you."

"No," Peter said. "You don't have to do that. Don't - you don't have to."

"Yeah," Tony said. "We do. We're gonna be there for you and Michelle, okay? We'll be there by tomorrow."

"Okay," Peter said quietly. "Thank you, Tony."

"I love you, Peter. We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

Tony said goodbye and hung up the phone. Immediately, Pepper came close and gathered him in a hug.

She seemed to want to say something, but closed her mouth instead. There were no good words for this. They just held each other tight.

* * *

The door opened to the apartment, and Peter stood in the entryway, the light from the windows behind him casting his face into shadow.

Tony stepped forwards and gave him a quick hug, and Pepper did the same.

"Where's Mo?" Peter asked, closing the door behind them.

"She's at home," Tony said. "We got Happy to watch her."

Morgan had been upset when they had told her she couldn't come, but they figured it was better for her to stay home for this. For Peter and MJ, and for her.

"How's MJ?" Pepper asked.

"She's… we're alright," Peter replied. "She's over on the couch - I was just making some tea. Do you want some?"

Tony and Pepper both nodded before heading into the living room while Peter split over to the kitchen.

Pepper walked up first, sitting down in a chair opposite MJ. "Hey, MJ," she said.

"Hey, Pepper," MJ said quietly. She seemed so despondent and tired - so unlike her usual spunky self. "Thanks for coming. You too, Tony."

"We wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now," Tony said. "We're here for you two." He swallowed, eyes flashing over to Pepper. "We were going to bring food, but we woke up too early to make anything," he added.

MJ shrugged. "That's okay. You didn't have to do that anyway."

"Why don't we order something?" Pepper suggested. "What are you in the mood for?"

"I… I don't know," MJ said. "It doesn't matter, I guess - you pick."

"Sure," Pepper said. "Yeah, okay - I'll be right back." She stood and walked to the other room to make the call, brushing Tony's shoulder with her hand as she went.

MJ and Tony were left alone, and he felt the awkward weight of it. She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, MJ," he said eventually. "I can't imagine how you must be feeling."

She sighed and tucked her knees into her chest. "It feels like…" she swallowed roughly. "I… I feel like a failure."

Tony frowned and shook his head. "You're not a failure," he said. "You didn't do anything to cause this."

"I know that, technically, I guess," she said. "But… it still doesn't feel that way."

"I'm sorry," Tony said again, unsure of what else to say.

"I just… Peter was so excited."

Tony considered her sympathetically. "It wasn't just Peter," he said. "I know how excited you were, too. Just know… that doesn't mean it's never going to happen."

Her lips pressed tight together. "But this child will never happen," she said, quiet and shaken.

"I know," Tony said. "I'm sorry."

"Where's Morgan?" MJ asked quickly, rubbing her eye with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"She's at home," Tony said.

"Did you… did you explain it to her?"

Tony shook his head. "Not fully. We will, though. When we get back."

"Okay," MJ said. Her arms were still wrapped around her knees.

At that point, Peter and Pepper both came into the room, hands full of mugs of tea. Pepper passed one to Tony, and Peter sat down next to Michelle before handing her hers.

She uncurled her legs and leaned into Peter's side, steaming cup held tight between her hands.

"I wish…" MJ took a shaky breath. "I guess I wish we hadn't told you. Then you wouldn't have to know. Morgan wouldn't have to know."

"I'm glad you told us," Pepper said. "If we didn't know, we wouldn't be able to be here for you."

"We didn't even really tell them anything, remember?" Peter said, a smile ghosting over his face. "Tony just figured it out on his own."

"He wouldn't have if you had a better poker face," Michelle shot back.

"Yeah," Peter said, his arm around her holding her tight. "Maybe. I should… I should work on that."

Tears were falling down MJ's cheeks now, and she wiped them away angrily before putting her tea down on the table. "Sorry. God, what's wrong with me?"

Peter put his mug down next to hers. "It's okay, MJ. We're here for you."

Her face broke, and Tony saw Peter's jaw crack as he pulled Michelle in for a hug, holding her close. His chin rested on her head, and his eyes closed. Her shoulders were shaking slightly as she pressed herself to his chest.

Tony looked at Pepper, and he saw his grief reflected in her eyes.

God, no. How could - this couldn't be happening. These two amazing people didn't deserve something like this. It wasn't right.

No.

"Peter…" Pepper said quietly. "Michelle… I'm so sorry."

Of course, it wasn't enough. There were no words to make this right - no words to fix this. So they sat in silence, knowing their presence wasn't enough to fill the void but hoping it was a help anyways.

* * *

Later, after the food had come and they'd all eaten whatever they could stomach - which wasn't much - Tony saw Peter head out onto the balcony, and he followed after him.

It was cold outside, and wind rushed through the street. The few trees down on the street were barren, their leaves long since lost.

Peter had his back to Tony, and was looking out at the building across from them. Tony looked at Peter, noting the tense set of his shoulders.

Peter spoke first. "I wish," he said. "I wish I could fix this. I wish there was something I could do to make this right."

Tony sighed. "Me too, Pete. Some problems you can't fight, though."

"Yeah," Peter replied. "I know. I just…" he broke off.

Tony took a step forwards. "What is it?" he said, encouraging him to continue.

When Peter turned to face him, Tony felt his heart break at his tortured expression.

"This is my fault," Peter breathed, his voice shaking. "I did this."

"No," Tony said, shaking his head, and stepping forward to put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "No. Why would you think that?"

Peter swallowed roughly. "I should've known… I should've known something would happen. I'm not - I'm not normal! My blood is poison!" His voice was full of anger - at himself.

"No," Tony said again, pulling him close and wrapping him tight in a hug. Peter hugged him back almost desperately. "This is not your fault."

Peter was shaking now, and sniffling through tears. "No, it was me -"

Tony pushed back and looked Peter right in the eye. The kid had tears running down his face. "Listen, Peter. This is not your fault. This isn't anyone's fault. A shitty, shitty thing has happened. There was no reason for it to happen; this isn't something you or MJ deserved. There was nothing you did that made it happen." A tear fell unbidden from Tony's own eye as he continued, "And I know how much you wanted this. I know how much you loved that baby already. And I'm sorry. God, Peter, I'm sorry."

Peter broke down then, his shoulders heaving sobs, and Tony pulled him close again. He knew that there was no way that this could be fixed. No way that he could engineer a solution for heartbreaking loss. All he could do was be there.

Eventually, Peter pulled back and wiped the tears off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm sorry. I just… I thought…" he couldn't seem to finish. Instead, he just stared ahead, his eyes unfocused on the view in front of them.

"I know, Pete," Tony said quietly, squeezing his shoulder. "I know."

It was the pain of what would have been. Unspoken words that represented the moments that would never come to be, the human that would now never get to share in Peter's light and give their own.

He stood by Peter's side, hoping to pass on whatever strength and support he could give.

And the wind bit at their skin, the sun shone cold, and somewhere in the city, church bells rang.

* * *

A/N: *TW: Miscarriage*

I hope that I did this story justice. I've never experienced a miscarriage myself, so I can only hope that it sounds genuine.

Please let me know your thoughts, and I'll be back with something more uplifting soon.

xoxo


End file.
